Yumi2004

Jeremie:(walks up to the group) Morning everybody.

Rest of gang:Mornin.

Aelita:Wanna get some breakfast?

Group:Sure.

Odd:I'm starving!!!

Group:(Starts walking, but some kid accidentley runs into Jeremie.)

Boy:(Kinda've scared) Sorry!

Ulrich: Watch where your goin kid!!

Jeremie:Ulrich! It was a accident!!!!!

Boy:I'm Brandon.

Gang(except for Ulrich):Hi!

Jeremie's laptop starts beeping

Jeremie:(Whispering)Activated tower!Let's go!

Brandon:Can I play?

Yumi:What's that?(point to the sky)

Brandon:(looks)

Group runs away.

Brandon:(turns around)Oh...Bye!

In this chapter, Brandon stalks the group to the factory.Sorry about the shortness!

Brandon:(in sewers)(sees skateboard)Oh come on!I don't know how to ride a skate board!Well,here we go!(Grabs skateboard and starts skating)Hey, I'm pretty good at this!(gets to end and climbs up ladder then climbs down the rope And goes into computer room)Jeremie?!!What are you and your gang doing here?!!{Joke: He didn't actually say this; "And how do I know your name?"}

Jeremie:BRANDON ?!!No time!just go to the room with the 3 pillars!(How did a 5th grader get here?!Well, if Odd can get here by himself....)

Brandon:(standing in a scanner)Hurry up!!For whatever this is!


Jeremie:Okay!Stop rushing me!!! Transfer Brandon,Scanner Brandon,VIRTUALIZATION!!!!

A few seconds later...

Brandon:(lands on his butt on Lyoko)OWW!!Wait a sec...WHAT THE HECK IS THIS PLACE?!! {by the way their in the ice sector}

Jeremie:No time!!Just find Aelita,Yumi,Odd,and Ulrich!!

Brandon:Okay...Hey...Why do I look like a retard ninja that wears too much yellow?!!

Jeremie:I don't know.(sees Brandon's I.D. card)HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!You do don't you?!

Brandon:Oh...I see them Jeremie...What do I do now?

Jeremie:Go over there!!Then I'll explain.

Brandon:Okay.

Lyoko Warriors(that means not jeremie):Who are you?

Ulrich:X.A.N.A. probably possesed someone!

Odd:(yelling)Let's get him!!!!!(they start attacking Brandon)

Brandon:(Furious)STOP BEFORE I DESTROY YOU!!!!(he starts to glow blue)SHINING BLAST ATTACK!!(Hits Ulrich with the attack and he is devirtualized[stops glowing])

Group:WOW!!![We better not annoy him any more!!!]

Brandon:Okay start explaining!!!

Jeremie:Okay.Ummmmmm...Lyoko is a virtual world where we fight a computer virus called X.A.N.A.

Aelita:My father created it to be a virtual paradise,but the men in black tried to use carthage to destroy it.

Odd:So he created X.A.N.A. to counter it.

Yumi:But he used the return to the past feature 2,546 times-

Ulrich:And every time you use it,X.A.N.A. gets stronger.And since he used it so much, X.A.N.A. took on a mind of it's own.

Brandon:Okay...So what's that?(points to a kankeralat)

X.A.N.A.:One of my monsters!And now i will kill you with it!!

Brandon starts to glow again

Brandon:YOU CANNOT KILL THE DIMENSION KING!!!(Stops glowing)(whispering)Only Sakura can....

Jeremie:(to Ulrich)Who's Sakura??

Odd:(yelling)WHO'S SAKURA?????

Brandon: -_-.......SHUT UP!!!!!

Odd:That was a bad idea!!

Brandon:How do you kill it??

X.A.N.A:[I'm leaving!!This kid's a idi-

Brandon:X.A.N.A IF YOU FINISH THAT WORD I WILL BANISH YOU!!!

X.A.N.A:(Dissapears)

Brandon:Hold on...Let me try something...(Right hand starts glowing blue)MATERIALIZATION!!!!!!

A blue krab falls out of the sky

Brandon:Cool it worked!!

Krab:(Destroy's Kankeralat then walks into digital sea)

Jeremie:What was that all about?!!

Brandon:I materialized my own krab!!!

Jeremie:

Aelita:JEREMIE!!MAKE A RETURN TO THE PAST!!!THE TOWER'S BEEN DEACTIVATED FOR 10 MINUTES NOW!!!!

Jeremie:Return to the past,now!

Hey if you don't know who i am,you're an idiot!I'm Brandon!

And I'm Sakura!!

Oooo,is that your girlfriend!

Oh Grow up Ulrich!![Ooo A Blok]

What was that

Nothing!

Brandon don't you talk to Ulrich that way!!

Hey

You're late!![What is with these bloks?]

Who cares if i'm late?[Let me help you with those bloks!]

Sakura can you help?

Okay!

KEEP IT DOWN I'M TRYING TO STUDY!!!!!

Oops!Can you 2 help?

okay

fine

I SAID,KEEP IT DOWN!!

NO,YOU KEEP IT DOWN!!!!!!Westin,can y-

Yup

...

your story is pretty good so far. I do have one peice of constructive criticism. Careful when useing small text that it's not so small that your audience can't read it. (I've done text too small to read before so I know how fine the line between small and too small is) Just keep up the good work.

Thanks!! I would have noticed it but I was in a rush.

This Is in the lunchroom.

Brandon:(Just realized something)Why is everything the same?

Aelita:Since we launched a return to the past,everything is how it was last time.

Odd:Oh, there's Sissi.(Imatating Sissi)Oh,hi Ulrich,dear!!!

Sissi:Oh,hi Ulrich,dear!!!

Brandon:(to Odd)Who the heck is that?!She sounds annoying already!

Sissi:Shut up you little twirp!

Brandon:Non!(No!)

Sissi:Huh?(Walks away)

Odd:Vous parlez francais?(You speak french?)

Brandon:Oui!(Yes!)

Ulrich:(Whispering)What the freak are they saying?

Brandon:Nous Parlons francais!(We're speaking french!)

Odd:We're speaking french!

The bell rings

Brandon:Great,another test.Wait!Now I know the answers!

Odd:That's the good thing!Oh, and that was Sissi.(Everyone goes to their classes)

So far so good Keep it up.

Okay i'm using avatar stuff .Oh,and they're on lyoko in sector 5.Only Brandon and Aelita are left.

Jeremie:Watch out!The Schypizoya(sorry) is coming!

It attacks Aelita.

Brandon:Dang it!I don't have any magic

????:(Shows up out've no where)Where am I?

Brandon:(Tries to kill her)Hyyyyyyyyaaaahhh!!!!(Throws like 50 punches at her)Who are you?!?!?!?!?!

Sakura:(shows up from behind ????{avatar})Brandon!!! Don't attack Korra!She was protecting me you dodo!

Brandon:Oops!.....WHAT THE FREAK ARE YOU DOING HERE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Jeremie:Anyone remember Aelita?!!!!!

Brandon and Sakura:JEREMIE SHUT UP!!! (Sakura kills the Schypizoya)YOU HAPPY?!!!!!!!!!

Brandon:(points to a random spot and his vehicle(Completely blue mantas)appears)Anyway,isn't Korra the avatar?

Korra:That's me.I'm th-

Brandon:Yeah,right,and I'm a magic unicorn!!!

Korra:(Bends every basic element{Fire,Earth,Water,Air})Believe me now?

Brandon:Okay.(Hand glows blue)MATERIALIZATION!!!(A bow and one of those arrow sack things appear)Okay,NOW I don't have any more magic!Let's go(Get's on mantas)(everyone else gets on)Yee-Haw!

Jeremie:RETURN TO THE PAST NOW!!!!!(the light thingy happens)

being a little more descriptive would help your story. but other than that You're doing great (I'll try to give you constructive criticism where possible but you are doing good so far)

What do you mean more descriptive?Like,more details?

more details. you're doing great so far but a few more details are needed in the future so the reader can see the scene you're writing in their heads better.

I'm about to throw my computer out a window!I saved a chapter,but instead, it deleted it.STUPID COMPUTER!

you replied so fast i didn't even notice!

and i was never good at that.

I'm using some things that someone had gotten from moonscoop(i don't know if their actually real or not).Okay,their at the hermitage trying to clean it.Well,Jeremie and Aelita are,the rest are anoying the crap out of Korra with a bunch of questions.(oh,they are actually in Aelita's old room cleaning it first.)This chapter is actually my beginning of my own "Season 5".(Oh,Sakura's at.......Ummm...I'll tell you when I think of something!)

Odd:Korra,is it hard being the avatar?!

Kiwi:Arf!!!(Yeah!!!)

Korra:Well sort've.I have to trai-

Yumi:What's your favorite element?

Okay,enough with them,now what Jeremie and Aelita are talking about.

Jeremie:Aelita,why are we cleaning the house again?I mean,you can't live in it until you can pay for everything.

Aelita:So I can have it clean for when I actually live in it.

Korra:SHUT UP!!!ENOUGH WITH THE QUESTIONS!!!

Jeremie's laptop starts beeping out of nowhere.

Everyone there besides Jeremie,Korra,and Brandon: ..........Jeremie why is your laptop beeping?

Jeremie:I don't know.(turns around to check but Brandon is on it{He's been on it for 15 minutes})Brandon!Why are you on my laptop?!

Brandon: ..........X.A.N.A activated a tower............

Jeremie:I thought we-

Brandon:X.A.N.A was revived by someone named Alan Meyer who made a new sector....The Cortex....

THE END!!
Or is it?Has it just begun?

I will be posting the "lost" Chapter 6 later.

it sucks that your computer lost a chapter but unfortunately that happens sometimes. you're still doing good by the way

Yay!I have a laptop now!

Your story is pretty interesting, my friend!

Yay!It's my birthday!

yawn

I forgot about something.Sakura is a girl chunin ninja from Naruto.One more thing....


CURSE YOU CARTOON NETWORK!!!!!!!!!

Because they cancelled Naruto AND code lyoko.I will get my revenge on stuart snyder!

You'd be expecting something from me now but if you were sick for 8 days you'd do the same.And my doctors told me i have asthma and nemonia and my temperture went up to 103.8 degrees!So,ummmm, yeah. worst. Week. Of. My. Life.