Under X.A.N.A's Control

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Jeune Lyokophile

Messages: 186

Inscription: 05 Avr 2012, 02:22

Message 09 Mai 2013, 03:11

Under X.A.N.A's Control

Okay, so I decided to release it way earlier because, well, just because.So, here it is!

~Brandon and Westin are walking out of the movie theater~

Westin: That was the best movie ever!

Brandon: I liked the first one better.(Brandon's phone rings)Hello?

Jeremie: (on the phone) X.A.N.A has launched and attack!

Brandon: Okay, well I can't help right now!

Jeremie: Why not?

Brandon: Because I'm hanging out with Westin.

Jeremie: But this is an emergency!X.A.N.A is deleting every piece of data off of every computer!

Brandon: Okay, I'll see what I can do.(Hangs up the phone)Let's go back to Kadic.

Westin: Okay.

~In Brandon and Westin's room.~

Brandon: Now that no one is here, let's see what I can do.(Presses a button on his watch.)

Watch: Supercomputer activated.

Brandon: (Types in, "Delay Virtualize Brandon" and presses a button)

Watch: 5...4...3...2...1...Transfer Brandon...

Brandon: Let's hope this works!(Disappears and reappears in a scanner at the factory)

Watch: Scanner Brandon...Virtualization!

~On Lyoko in the Desert Sector~

Ulrich: (Sees Brandon being virtualized) Finally!!

Brandon: Shut up!

Ulrich: (Gets hit by a megatank blast) Oh no!

Aelita: Let's go!

Aelita, Brandon, Odd, and Yumi run to the tower.

Brandon: After you.

Aelita: (Goes in the tower then deactivates it.)

Jeremie: Can anyone explain to me how Brandon's on Lyoko?

Ulrich: You mean you didn't virtualize him?

Jeremie: No.

Brandon: I'll explain later.

I know it was probably boring but what kind of book is exciting straight in the first Chapter?
Dernière édition par sixthwarrior le 09 Nov 2013, 21:04, édité 5 fois.
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Jeune Lyokophile

Messages: 186

Inscription: 05 Avr 2012, 02:22

Message 11 Juin 2013, 04:48

Chapter 2: Sorry It's Late

As the chapter says, I'm sorry it's late.I've been really busy and then for a week I got so hooked up in stuff I forgot about the website completely.

~In Sakura's room~

Sakura: Just focus...It may seem hard, but you'll get the hang of it.

Brandon: (A green ball of energy appears between Brandon's hands)Yes!

Sakura: Good!You made a healing ball.Now make it go around your hands.

Brandon: (Does what she says to do.)

Sakura: Good!Now you can put your hands over a wound and it will heal the wound.

Brandon: Why do I need to know this?

Sakura: (Just like Naruto.Cha![Or, in japanese, Shannaro!])Because on Lyoko missions, it heals your life points.

Brandon: Okay.

Sakura: Plus, you're the king of dimensions.That means you have IMMENSE power.Wear this bracelet.It keeps you from being overwhelmed by all of your power.

By power, she means Chakra, King of dimensions power, Secret, Classified. :D

~In the lab~

Aelita: Jeremie you've been working to long.Take a break.

Jeremie: Activated tower.

Aelita: I'll warn the others.

Sorry it's short (possibly boring) but i'm tired and I had to rewrite the chapter.(Lost data.)
Dernière édition par sixthwarrior le 05 Nov 2013, 04:53, édité 1 fois.
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Jeune Lyokophile

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Message 18 Juin 2013, 15:32

I'm debating over whether or not I should jump straight into the plot, or just have interesting chapters until, I don't know, I have a couple of chapters.
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Tueur de Blocks

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Message 19 Juin 2013, 06:28

Re: Under X.A.N.A's Control

what ever you do you should make sure to explain where Brandon got the watch. it doesn't mention it in your previous story. Did he always have it? theas are things you need to explain in your story. other than that you're doing good so far.
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Jeune Lyokophile

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Message 19 Juin 2013, 19:47

Re: Under X.A.N.A's Control

Oh, yeah, the watch.

He got it from his parents but modified it so it could virtualize him.
Dernière édition par sixthwarrior le 21 Déc 2013, 17:22, édité 2 fois.
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Jeune Lyokophile

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Message 19 Juin 2013, 20:02

Chapter 3: The Dream

Okay so this is in Brandon's dream while he's asleep.

He's in Sector 5 in the core of lyoko's chamber.

Brandon: (Is handcuffed by like, black gas and sees a ninja with the same handcuffs)What?

William appears in front of them.

Ninja: ...[Man, why did Tyron make us so easy to kill & capture?]

Brandon: [Yeah, you guys are pretty easy to kill.And why the heck would X.A.N.A capture his own allies?]



Brandon: (wakes up) OWWW!!!Don't SCREAM IN MY EAR LIKE THAT!!!!

Westin: It's already time for class!

Brandon: Oh Man!(He get's ready and they go to class)
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Jeune Lyokophile

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Message 02 Juil 2013, 20:02

Chapter 4: I seriously can't think of a title

~At The Lab~

Jeremie: Okay, Yumi and Aelita go to the Scanners.

Odd: What about us three?

Jeremie: Brandon, you take control of the supercomputer, and Ulrich, Odd, and I are going back to my room to get something.

Brandon: Are you sure?All I can do is virtualize them and bring up the overwing.

Jeremie: That's all you need to know.

Aelita: Jeremie, have you forgotten?We're going to the Cortex.

Jeremie: I know, I've pre-typed the commands into the supercomputer.Just press this button, and then they can do the rest.You still have to virtualize them, though.

Brandon: Okay.

Jeremie: Let's go.(Jeremie, Odd, and Ulrich go to the elevator and Aelita and Yumi go down the ladder to the Scanners.)

Brandon: You ready?

Yumi: Yeah, we're ready.

Brandon: Transfer, Yumi.Transfer, Aelita.

The scanner doors close.

Brandon: Scanner Yumi. Scanner Aelita.(That may not be what he says but that's what it sounds like to me)

Brandon: Virtualization!

Aelita and Yumi land in the arena of Sector 5.

Brandon: So, you should hurry up cause a timer just appeared.

Aelita: (What?How is that possible?Whenever we recreated Lyoko, we got rid of the timer!)

Yumi and Aelita run out of the arena and find the key.

Aelita: The key is to high up!

Yumi: (Throws one of her fans and it hits the key.)Bullseye!

They go to the Skid's hanger and stand on the teleporters.

Aelita: Liftoff!

Yumi: Brandon, I think you're supposed to press it now!

Brandon: Okay!(Presses the button and the decrypt window appears and shows the code)Okay I'm typing in the code it shows.

The lyoko tunnel thing opens up and the Skid goes out of it and into the digital sea.

~About 5 minutes later they go into the Cortex~

Aelita We're in the Cortex!

To Be Continued....
Dernière édition par sixthwarrior le 10 Juil 2013, 17:34, édité 1 fois.
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Tueur de Blocks

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Message 04 Juil 2013, 05:21

Re: Under X.A.N.A's Control

your third chapter was a little short. you're still doing alright so far other than that,
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Jeune Lyokophile

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Message 04 Juil 2013, 18:24

Re: Under X.A.N.A's Control

Next chapters gonna be late.Computer deleted it again.


X.A.N.A's tower he activated in chapter 2 was deactivated.
Dernière édition par sixthwarrior le 08 Juil 2013, 22:37, édité 1 fois.
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Jeune Lyokophile

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Message 05 Juil 2013, 21:18

Chapter 5: X.A.N.A Vs. Tyron

Okay, probably should have mentioned this earlier but there are going to be different parts of this this story to get to explain it better.Chapters 4, 5, and 6 are the X.A.N.A Vs Tyron chapters.They explain an important detail in the story.

They go to the big door and Aelita opens it with her creativity.

Yumi: Brandon, can you materialize the Overwing?

Brandon: Sure.(He materializes it)

Yumi: Thanks.

Aelita: We should go to the interface.

They fly over to it and Aelita puts the key in.

Aelita: (Turns Around) What the?X.A.N.A's Monsters are attacking the Ninja!

Brandon's phone rings.

Brandon: Hello?

Jeremie: How are the girls doing?

Brandon: Good.But something weird is going on in the Cortex.

Jeremie: You should start up the Virtualization Program.

Brandon: Why? The Skid is in the Cortex and we can't get there without the Skid.

Jeremie: I made a program that allows you to be virtualized directly into the Cortex!

Brandon: Cool!

Jeremie: Okay, we're almost there.

Brandon: Ok.(Hangs up the phone)

Aelita: Why are they fighting each other?

Yumi: We'll find out soon enough!

Jeremie comes out of the elevator.

Jeremie: Odd, Ulrich, and Brandon go to the scanners.You'll be the first to test out my program.

Brandon: Man, this better work!

They go to the scanner room and Jeremie virtualizes them into the Cortex.

Brandon: It Worked!

Jeremie: Here are your vehicles!

Brandon materializes his Mantas.

Brandon: Let's go in the core!

Odd: Yeah!
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Jeune Lyokophile

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Message 07 Aoû 2013, 20:03

Re: Under X.A.N.A's Control

Sorry for no chapters, I'm sick and have been dealing with some personal matters.2 new chapters in a couple of days!
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Message 15 Aoû 2013, 21:52

Chapter 6: Confusion

Yay new chapter!I finally had some free time today to do a chapter.Okay, so that trailer/sneak peek that was on my last story...OLD!!!It has the same concept I just think it's out of date for the chapters.

Ulrich, Odd, and Brandon arrive at the dome and realize it's closed.

Brandon: Good job it's closed!

Jeremie Can't you use your powers?

Brandon: Most of them don't have effects on Lyoko!But I can use Creatvity.

Jeremie: That's Aelita's power!

Brandon: I didn't tell you I can copy peoples powers can I?

Jeremie: No.

Brandon opens the giant door.

Jeremie: You just lost 50 life points!

Brandon: Yeah, I copy them ENTIRELY.

Odd: Okay, is it just me or is the inside like a war zone?

Jeremie: Yeah, The ninja are fighting X.A.N.A's Monsters.

Brandon: Let's kick some monster butt!(they all go inside)

Jeremie: Okay, Odd and Aelita fight X.A.N.A's Monsters.Brandon, Yumi, and Ulrich fight the ninja.(looks at screen) Wait, Aelita you go to the interface.

Aelita: I already put the key in!

Jeremie: It shut off!

Aelita: Brandon you go to the interface!

Brandon: Ughhh!!!!

Brandon jumps down to the interface and a blue and red card appears in his hand.

Brandon: What am I supposed to do with this card?

Jeremie: Put it into the interface.

Brandon: Okay.(puts it in)

Tyron: (notices the lyoko warriors and X.A.N.A's monsters)What are you doing in the Cortex?

Brandon: Deleting it!

Aelita: Don't you dare!

Brandon: Why not?

Tyron: Because she wants to see her mother again.

Aelita: How did you know?

Tyron: Because she told me.

Anthea walks in.

Aelita: Mom!

Anthea: Aelita!

Tyron: Get out!

Anthea is taken out of the room.

Tyron: Virtualization.

Everyone except for Brandon: WHAT?!

Anthea lands in the dome of the Cortex.Her Lyoko outfit is a pink dress with magenta high heels and her weapon is a Dark Pink glove that shoot out dark pink energy fields.Oh and a Ninja appears in the Cortex but instead of being green it's pink.

Jeremie: Now we can go back to lyoko and infect the Cortex!

Aelita: There isn't enough room in the skid!

Brandon: Go on ahead!

Aelita: Okay!

Everyone leaves except for the monsters and the ninja (including the pink one).

Brandon: .....(Fire starts to appear around him)........(it gets bigger).....INFERNO BLAST!!!(all of the monsters and ninja are devirtualized.)

He goes over to the interface and types something in.

Brandon: There we go.Jeremie, hurry and materialize me!

Jeremie: Okay.Materialization Brandon.(presses enter)

Brandon appears in one of the scanners.

Brandon: (goes up to the lab)So, is that all?

Jeremie: No, X.A.N.A is still alive, but he's not in the Cortex anymore.

Everyone else comes up from the scanner room.

Anthea: I thought I would never see this place again.

Aelita: I'm so glad you're back!

Anthea: Where's Waldo?(A.K.A Franz Hopper [that pun was intended])

Aelita: Oh....well....

Dernière édition par sixthwarrior le 21 Déc 2013, 17:28, édité 2 fois.
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Jeune Lyokophile

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Message 17 Aoû 2013, 03:26

Chapter 7: This isn't a Filler!!!Filler Night!!!

Sorry, I had to do that to the title!Oh, and the next part will start on chapter 9.Also, The main plot will start to develop starting at Chapter 12.This Chapter and Chapter 8 are actually pretty important to the storyline.If you read my other other title you would know what I mean :p

They are at the Hermitage.

Anthea: So, Franz is....Dead?

Aelita: Yes...

Brandon: Not entirely.

Jeremie: What?

Brandon: If we can get a simple piece of hair that was his we can virtualize it in Lyoko and he'll reappear!

Aelita: How would that work?

Brandon: Jeremie's done it before.

Jeremie: That's right!

Ulrich: How are we supposed to find one piece of hair in this giant place?

Odd: Found one :p

Aelita: So let's go to the factory!

At the factory...

Jeremie: What the?!There's a bug in the supercomputer!

Yumi: So we can't materialize Aelita's dad?

Jeremie: Not until I fix the bug.

Brandon: Can we still go to lyoko?

Jeremie: Yeah, why?

Brandon: Because there's an activated tower.

Jeremie: Okay, everyone head to the scanners.

Brandon: (presses a button on his watch)Now that this thing is upgraded, see you on Lyoko!(disappears then appears on Lyoko)

Jeremie: That's how you did that last time!

Aelita: We're ready!

Jeremie: Okay.Transfer Yumi.Transfer Aelita.Transfer Anthea.

Okay, skip the virtualiztion part, now everyone's on Lyoko.

Brandon: Materialization! (Mantas Appears)

Jeremie: Here are your vehicles!

The vehicles appear.

Jeremie: And Anthea, I programmed something for you too.

A Dark Pink Carriage appears.

Brandon: Materialization. (Two Pink Krabs appear attached to the Carriage)

Anthea: Why thank you!

About Ten minutes later they arrive at the tower.

Jeremie: About 20 Kankrelats ahead!

Brandon: 20!?!

Odd: More like 200!

Brandon: I've got an idea.Aelita and Anthea both fire your energy fields in the same direction.That should make an explosion to kill all the monsters!

Aelita: Okay!
Anthea: Okay!

They both fire their energy fields and it creates a giant explosion.

Brandon: GIANT SHIELD!!! (A giant blue shield surrounds all of them except for Ulrich)

Ulrich: Aghh!!(Is devirtualized)

Brandon: Oops!

Both the explosion and the shield disappear.

Aelita: Here I go!(goes inside the tower and deactivates it)

Jeremie: Do we need a return to the past?

Yumi: Yeah, I saw Nicholas in the factory spying on us!

Jeremie: Return To The Past Now!
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Message 08 Sep 2013, 22:43

Chapter 8: Family Reunion

Everyone is at the Lab but Only Aelita and Anthea are on lyoko.

Jeremie: Okay, here we go.Is the hair in the scanner?

Brandon: Yes.

Jeremie: Okay. Transfer, Franz.Scanner, Franz.Virtualization!

Franz appears on Lyoko.His appearance is still the Blue ball with Purple aura around it.

Franz: Aelita?Anthea?

Aelita: Dad!

Franz: I've missed you both!

Jeremie: Should I materialize you?

Aelita: Yes.

Jeremie: Okay.Materialization Aelita.Materialization Anthea.Materialization Franz.

A error window appears on the screen.

Jeremie: That's weird.

Yumi: What?

Jeremie: I actually don't know.(types something then a window appears)

Odd: What's that?

Jeremie: ...OH NO!

Brandon: What?

Jeremie: Xana attacked just as i materialized them!They're stuck in the scanners so I can't virtualize anyone!

Brandon: You skipped a chapter!(presses a button on his watch then disappears)

Aelita: (banging on the inside of a scanner)GET ME OUT OF HERE!

Ulrich: Why don't you just revirtualize them?

Jeremie: Because it's still trying to devirtualize them.

Brandon: This is gonna be hard.

Jeremie: What?

Brandon: 3 Megatanks.2 Hornets.1 Krab.

Jeremie: This is impossible!

Brandon: (starts to float in the air)not quite.

Jeremie: What are you doing?

Brandon: (stays perfectly still then flashes gold 3 times)

Jeremie: What's going on?

Brandon: (5 clones of him appear on the ground then he lands on the ground) Let's do this!

Within 1 minute all of the monsters are gone.

Brandon: Yeah!(runs into the tower)

Jeremie: Okay.Materialization Aelita, Materialization Franz, Materialization Anthea.

They come out of the scanners and Brandon appears next to Odd.

Brandon: That was easier than I thought it would be.
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Jeune Lyokophile

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Message 28 Oct 2013, 01:05

Re: Chapter 9: Practice

Sorry for not posting for a looooooonnnnngggg time, so I'm going to post one chapter today, one tomorrow, and one the day after to get to the main plot.

They're all at the factory with Franz sitting in the chair.

Odd: I wrote down this paper as a kind of plan.

X.A.N.A Attack Plan

1.At least 4 people go to Lyoko.
2.The other 3 (or more) guard the factory if X.A.N.A launches an attack at us.
3.If there is no attack, then everyone goes.

Aelita: That sounds good to me.

Jeremie: Wait, 4+3=7, but it's only you, Ulrich, Yumi, Aelita, Anthea and Brandon who go to Lyoko.

Odd: Well if Franz is working the supercomputer, then you can go to Lyoko too!

Jeremie: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!I'm not going back on Lyoko!

Brandon: Just do it!

Jeremie: Okay, fine...

2 minutes later.

Jeremie: I'm gonna regret this!

Franz: Transfer Jeremie, Transfer Odd, Transfer Ulrich.
Franz: Scanner Jeremie, Scanner Odd, Scanner Ulrich.
Franz: Virtualization!

They land on Lyoko.Jeremie has a white tuxedo on and on his right arm there is a piece of metal with a green button.

Franz: Virtualization!

Anthea, Yumi and Aelita land next to them.Brandon then appears next to all of them.

Odd: So do we just wait for X.A.N.A to bring us a giant seafood platter of Krabes?

Brandon: No.(Hand starts to have blue electricity around it)Materialization!

12 Kankrelats, 9 Bloks, 7 Krabes, 5 Tarantula's and 3 Megatanks appear.

Odd: I'll go first!(Runs toward all the monsters)Lazer Arrows!(Hits 2 Kankrelats and 1 Blok)

The three Megatanks all shoot their lazer things at him and he gets hit by all of them.

Odd: How come I wasn't devirtualized?

Brandon: I rigged the monsters to where you couldn't be devirtualized by them.But you still feel like you got hit by it.

Aelita: My turn!

Everyone goes except for Jeremie (and Anthea doesn't need to go for some reason i'll explain later).Here are the stats:
B= Blok
K= Kankrelat
T= Tarantulas
A letter in () is the ones they got hit by.

Name: Destroyed: Times Hit:
Odd 1B 2K . 3(M)
Aelita 5K 2Kr . 1(M) 2(K)
Ulrich 1M 2T 3K . 2(M) 1(Kr) 3(B)
Yumi 2M 3T 1Kr 12K . 1(M) 3(B) 2(Kr)
Brandon ALL except for 1M . 1(M)

Brandon: Your turn, Jeremie!

Jeremie: But I don't even know my weapon!

Brandon: (Looks at his right sleeve) That green button on your sleeve.Press it.

Jeremie: okay.(presses it and a gun floats out of the metal part.)Woah!(Grabs it)

Brandon: Ready....GO!!!

Jeremie: Eh?! (A megatank laser goes straight past him)AGH!(Shoots a megatank and it explodes)

About a minute later.

Jeremie: ( shoots a kankrelat) Phew!

Odd: (staring at Jeremie)Woah.

Brandon: L-look at this.(Flicks his finger down and a window opens.)

| . |
| . |
| KILLS: |
| . |
| HITS: |
| NONE |
| . |
| . |
| . |
| . |

Everyone except for Jeremie and Brandon: WHA?!

Jeremie: .....woah....
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Tueur de Blocks

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Message 28 Oct 2013, 05:49

Re: Under X.A.N.A's Control

you seem to be doing pretty good. the rescue of Aelita's parents was kind of anti-climactic though and needed some build up. having important events like that happen so suddenly can cause confusion for your readers.
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Message 05 Nov 2013, 05:30

Chapter 10: Lyoko Encounter

DUN DUN DUN!!!I'M LATE!I'm thinking of adding a new character that has powers to, except I can't think of a name.

In Brandon's dorm.

Brandon: I'm soooooooo bored!

Westin: You do realize that there's a test tomorrow, right?

Brandon: Yes.I already studied.

Westin: Well, then go take a walk in the woods.

Brandon: Good idea.(walks out the room)

About a minute later in the forest.

Brandon: (phone rings and he jumps up)Whaaaaatttt?

Aelita: Y-you need to come to the factory.Now.

Brandon: Ughhh, I was sleeping!(hangs up)What now?(turns around) AHHHHHHHH!!!!!

An hour later in the lab.

Jeremie: Where is he?

Aelita: I don't know, want me to go look?

Jeremie: No, you should go to Lyoko and figure out what's going on.

Aelita: Okay.(walks to the elevator then goes in one of the scanners)I'm ready.

Jeremie: Okay.Transfer Aelita. Scanner Aelita. Virtualization!

She lands in a weird, swamp like sector.

Aelita: J-Jeremie.You have to see this.

Jeremie: (looks at the visual) Wow! A whole new sector!

Brandon?: (lands on lyoko) Sorry I'm late.(Glares at Aelita and quickly looks away)

Jeremie: Okay, start heading to the activated tower. 20 degrees north.

Aelita: Okay!

Brandon?: (whispering)I don't think so.

Aelita: Jeremie, shouldn't you call the others?

Jeremie: I did, and they're coming.I'm starting the delayed virtualization.

A few seconds later he lands next to them.

Brandon?:(still whispering, but angrily this time) Crap!!

Soon they're at the tower.

Aelita: Don't you think it's weird we haven't seen any monsters?

Jeremie: Yeah.

Brandon?: (Voice starts to have the weird effect thing)Yeah, weird, don't you think?

Jeremie: X.A.N.A!

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Message 03 Déc 2013, 04:51

Sorry for no updates for a while new chapter soon BUT.........After this book, I'll be officially moving to http://www.fanfiction.net so ummmm......I'll still be writing stuff here just it'll go to fanfiction.net first before it's here......Maybe not.....I'm tired I'll think it over but i'll also be posting books other than things about CL
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